I'm going to be moving soon, so in an effort to get the ball rolling, I started searching through my closet today to see what I wanted to bring with me and what I was going to leave behind. I found a photo album that I used to collect photos from high school in, and couldn't help but notice how curly my hair was in most of the pictures. As I've mentioned before, my hair was very curly in high school, but it wasn't given the same amount of attention I give to it now. I would put heavy amounts of mousse in it and sometimes take a curling iron to it in order to spruce up some of the stragglers. But boy, was it gorgeous.
The first picture shows my hair as it was when I used a curling iron on my hair. There was some obvious frizz, but the length was exactly where I wanted it. In the second photo, the curls were all very tight and similar in shape. This picture was taken at the end of my junior year, before I learned how to flat iron my hair myself. Sometimes I wonder if my curls can ever get back to that point. I'm afraid I've done so much damage to them over the past six years with my flat iron. Not that I am not loving the curls my hair is producing right now, I just miss when they were all the same shape. I can't cry over what is done, however, I just have to diligently figure out a way to get it back to that place.
In other news, I tried the pineapple again last night, I have to say, I'm hooked. It amazes me how much volume my hair has, but more importantly, the curls stay preserved throughout the night. Today, I didn't go anywhere, so I just pulled my hair up in a high ponytail with a headband I got from Forever 21.
This is my good side, I've decided. The curls are always more defined on this side than my left side. But for day three hair, I'd say my curls look pretty good.
This side could use some work, I think with time it will start to cooperate. My boyfriend jokes that my hair is frightened that I will subject it to those evil clamps of heat again, so they are resisting the curl in an attempt not to get more attention with the flat iron later. To be quite honest, I don't miss my straight hair very much. I feel like these curls have breathed new life into me and my wardrobe, and they make me stand out more. I also feel a certain level of confidence that I never knew I could get with them.
Since starting this journey, I have felt more of a compulsion to buy colorful clothing and accessories. My closet used to be full of black and various shades of white, but now there are vibrant yellows, corals, turquoises, paisleys, and purples. I just feel that my curls have enhanced my style as well as my desire to learn more about my black roots. As silly as it may sound, I have tried for a good portion of my life to stand apart from the black community, not because I was ashamed, but because I felt that I didn't wholly belong to it due to my mixed heritage. In high school I didn't enjoy the same types of music that a lot of people in the community identified with nor did I share the same personal struggles. But now, I'm starting to understand that just because I may have different facets to my makeup, being black is definitely an important shade of me and I don't have to worry about fitting in with the black community because I have always been apart of it even when I resisted it. Now I am learning to embrace it as a very integral piece to the my existence. I'm not going to lie and say I feel one hundred percent comfortable there just yet, mainly because of my own insecurities of not being able to fit in, but I am learning to, which is a lot more than I used to be able to say.
