My Year in Review

    I wanted to make sure I wrote a post before the new year to discuss how much my life has changed over the course of twelve months. I won't go into anything personal, I just want to talk about the changes I decided to make this year that have benefited my life greatly. First, I decided to start working out. As someone who has always been naturally slender, I never thought I needed to worry about physical fitness or what I put into my body. I always fit into the clothes I wanted to wear, so I didn't choose to look to far beyond that. Then, I started to gain weight as a result of getting older and lazier. I felt badly about myself and the way I looked and knew I needed to make a change. I had attempted to work out in the past, but I always lost interest in it and went back to eating fast food and drinking 3+ sodas a day, so this time I knew I would need to get a personal trainer. I joined the gym on January 11, 2011 weighing 136 pounds with 26 percent body fat. After 11 months of sweat and sore muscles, I reached my goal: I dropped 10 pounds and 6 percent body fat. I cannot describe the wonderful changes I have noticed, not only to my appearance, but my confidence and energy level. As a student, I cannot believe I didn't exercise before because it really helps keep the mind active and present. I learned so many useful tools this year about food and exercise and the ways we must constantly change up our routines to keep the body guessing. I feel these lessons prepared me for my hair journey.

    As I have stated before, I decided to let my hair go free in May of 2011. After my hairstylist told me I really needed to start getting more hair cuts and allowing my hair to stay curly more often so it could grow, I asked myself, why not let it go curly for the summer? I needed to figure out why I didn't feel as confident with curly hair as I did with straight hair. Interestingly enough, after a month of my hair being curly, I started to gain more confidence. Now, when it's straight, I don't feel as good as I used to. Mainly because the maintenance on straight hair is more than I would like to put out because I know I'm killing my hair and the curly progress with each press of my flat iron. My exercise and eating habits helped me understand that my hair needs to try new products so it can keep the curls looking their best. I really saw this put to action when I tried using my Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie and Bed Head's Cat Walk Curls Rock this month. When I first bought both products, I wasn't entirely happy with them. The Shea Moisture left my hair feeling really heavy and oily while the Cat Walk Curls Rock gave my hair a dried out, wiry feel. This month, I decided to take my Shea Moisture out of the cabinet and give it a go. I washed my hair with my KMS sulfate shampoo as well as conditioned with the KMS. Once I got out of the shower, I put the Shea Moisture on my hair and combed it through. I then applied my Carol's Daughter Curl Definer to my hair, using my fingers to get it through my hair. The results were fabulous. I think it has something to do with the weather-the cold dries my hair out, as well as the fact that I haven't used the Shea Moisture since summer. My hair welcomed it back.

   The front pieces needed to be fixed, but this is day two hair!! I'm pretty pleased with how well it held up overnight. The Shea Moisture has been kind to me.

   Last week, I was at my parents house for the holidays. I found the Cat Walk Curls Rock that I let my mom use, since it wasn't working for my hair, I decided not to let the $14 bottle go to waste. I was curious to see how well it would hold up in my hair, now that I was using the Shea Moisture and the Curl Definer. I was very surprised with the results. I do the exact same routine when using the Cat Walk Curls Rock that I did with the Shea Moisture. The first time I put it on, I placed a dime size amount in my hand and worked it through one side of my hair and reapplied more the the other side. I found that it was too much, so I now just style my hair with the Shea Moisture and Curl Definer, then add a dime size amount to my hand and rub it through my hair, re-scrunching it. I find this works a lot better. I'm not as crazy about the Shea Moisture-Curl Definer-Cat Walk Curls Rock combo as I am just using the Shea Moisture and Curl Definer, but using the Cat Walk Curls Rock is not a bad option to have. I'm still learning and I'm sure 2012 will bring even more revelations about myself and my hair.

   I just received a large amount of hair products for Christmas, so I will be doing a post about those when I get back home. I'm excited to try them out! I'm very thankful for this year and the confidence it has brought about. I can't wait to see how 2012 shapes up. Here is a before and current picture of my hair and it's progress:

June 2011:

Now (I took this on my phone, so the quality may not be that great) :

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Do You Wanna Touch?

Well, please refrain from doing so. Unless invited, reaching out and touching a black woman's hair because it is "so fascinating and exotic" is highly offensive and grounds for getting your fingers bitten off. In high school, I used to allow my white friends to touch my hair, always feeling a bit uncomfortable when they asked me because they were not asking one another if they could exchange strokes. I allowed it, however, because of my want to please others. I can remember a specific time when I allowed one of my old friends to comb out all of my curls and make my hair "fro" because she thought it was "so cool to look at and feel." I remember feeling upset because it was going to take hours for my hair to get back to normal now that it had been combed out. Please, do not get me wrong, I allow plenty of people to touch my hair. The key word of that sentence is allow. I have a fairly short list of people I "allow" to touch my hair: my mom, my hair stylist, and my fellow natural hair mate, Ayla. There is the occasional person I throw in there if I want something done that I know I cannot do myself, but I try to keep it to a minimum because of the comments, such as, "Wow, it doesn't feel like black girls hair. It is so...white feeling."

I decided to do a bit of research to find out why I feel this way as well as to find other fellow black women who hate having their hair touched. According to an article in CNN.com entitled 'Can I touch it?' blogger Renee Martin remarks, "I think it's the idea that they have the right to possess black women and they will take any excuse they can to jump over the border, whether it's policing our behavior or policing our hair," Martin said. "I think it's about ownership of black bodies more than it has to actually do with hair" (Lisa Respers France). While I have never gone into as much depth as Martin on this matter, I completely understand and agree that it is like this for some black women. There are blatantly ignorant people in the world who think that black hair can be played with because it is attached to a larger pawn, but I know there are other people who honestly just cannot keep their hands to themselves, sans ulterior motives. I personally do not like my hair touched because it takes me a while to get the curls in the shape I want, and then someone comes up and starts pulling the curls apart, causing them to frizz. I recognize that curls are pretty and unlike something people see residing on everyone's head, but it doesn't give you the right to touch them. We are not chia pets, or any pets for that matter. But touch our hair enough and we will resort to biting.

Issa Rae, star and creator of "The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl" adds to the conversation on CNN.com, explaining she does not mind when people touch her hair as much as she does when they ask questions that make her feel as though her hair is ugly. I am happy I have not received these types of questions, most people have been supportive of my choice to go natural. A young woman on CNN.com named Tia Mosley describes her story, saying she went natural at age 12 and has never looked back. Mosley explains that she does not mind people touching her hair, it is just when they touch it without asking that bothers her. I think I am closest to Mosley's outlook. If people ask to touch my hair, I do not mind as much. I still reserve the right to say no, and I have, but I just feel it is polite. I am not going to go up to someone I do not know and start stroking their hair because it looks interesting to me. They have petting zoos for that. Be genuine about your curiosity too, do not ask to touch my hair because you think it looks weird and you want to confirm your suspicions. Believe me, this has been a long time in the making so I can spot the ones with judgment in their voice.


These comments are not meant to be rude, more of an education. The knowledge is this: if you touch someone's hair without asking, it can be offensive. If after reading this, you still feel the urge to touch a black woman's hair...well, don't say you weren't warned when you get her right hook.Follow @AlexiaaBrooks

The Time Has Come

I recently bought Carol's Daughter Black Vanilla Leave In Conditioner, which I love by the way, and have been applying it to my hair often. The great thing about this leave in conditioner is it comes in a spray bottle as opposed to the thick cream that you get with the Curl Enhancing Smoothie. I can use it as a leave in and also a restyling aid, which is nice when I am feeling lazy. I find that if I use too much of it though, it can make my hair greasy. The past few days, I've gone back to just using the Curl Definer on my wet hair and using a t-shirt instead of a towel to dry it. I forgot how great this regimen is, it really makes my curls soft and defined. I can't say it enough, thank you Carol's Daughter for making my hair beautiful.  As of today, this is what my curls look like:

I took these pictures after I did the pineapple and the curls still held up quite well! After all of the products I've tried, I think I love the Curl Definer most. I find when I add it to my wet hair, I get the best results. 

So, onto a new decision. I've been going back and forth with this idea for the last couple of weeks: to straighten my hair, or not? I finally decided I will do it. I know it sounds silly, but I couldn't help thinking of who I may be letting down if I did straighten my hair, then I realized the whole point of this journey was to embrace MY roots, as they are mine and belong to no one else. One of the beautiful things about being biracial is I have the option of having beautiful, straight hair as well as gorgeous curls. Before, I didn't realize how important my curls were and how pretty I still was when wearing them. I feel as though I set out to accomplish what I wanted to do: love myself regardless of my hair style as well as embracing my hair when it's curly. I've decided not to straighten my hair as often as I was doing before because I have made great progress with the definition of my curls and I'd hate for it to go away entirely and have to start all over again. I've also realized that just because I am straightening my hair does not mean my journey ends here, I still have more to learn about who I am.  Honestly, let's face it, this blog was not dedicated to my hair alone. I'm very excited to see what my 140+ days of no heat has done to the healing process of my hair. Tonight, I'm going to use my TreSemme heat protector, but I plan on getting a heat protector from Carol's Daughter as soon as I get paid.  I'll post the pictures soon!Follow @AlexiaaBrooks

A Different Embrace

Today I embraced my roots in a different way. Instead of loving my curls, which I completely do, I went to see Kathryn Stockett's beautiful novel turned film, "The Help." I finished the novel on Friday evening with dried tears on my cheeks, thinking of the way life was for my aunts, grandmothers, and great grandmothers not more than fifty years ago. I had been waiting to see the film until after I finished the novel, something I try very hard to do every time there is a film adaptation made of a book I'm interested in. Reading the novel clearly painted the importance of color during the sixties, but seeing it on the big screen was almost overwhelming. I have seen other films in class, and during my free time about civil rights, but they are usually told through the perspective of the African American men of that time. While I praise the men and their courage, seeing the tenacity these women had during such a crucial period struck a note within me. Watching Viola Davis, who plays Aibileen, as she bravely spoke about the aspects of the color divide she likes least was breathtaking. Not only was the character of Aibileen speaking out against social inequality, she was telling her stories to a white woman who could have easily betrayed her. But Aibileen had faith that she was making a difference and she truly did.

Even though Aibileen appears to be a fictional character, her fearless demeanor echos that of African American women during this time. Aibileen is a representation of women in my own bloodline who have worked until their feet were bleeding to survive. They took the beatings of injustice all so I could sit here now, a 24 year old female with a white mother, college educated, and the world at my feet. Their sacrifices are what has made it possible for me to follow my heart, and love the man I do without noticing that I have dark skin and he has white skin. I am able to enter the same school or public restroom as my white friends without being beaten or killed, while fifty years ago they were not even allowed to touch the same library books as white people . "The Help" showed me how often I forget about the freedoms I have and take for granted. I held onto a small piece of Aibileen as I finished reading the novel on Friday, and another piece as I walked out of the theater this afternoon. It will serve as a constant reminder, whenever I am feeling less than brave, that these women did not put their lives at stake for me to sit around being afraid. I am who I am in this world because of the risks they took. I've embraced it.Follow @AlexiaaBrooks

Braid Out

So, I started a new, fun regimen for my curls called the braid out. I was watching Sarah's videos on YouTube and I came across the one she did on her braid out and thought it looked fun. First, I washed my hair with my KMS shampoo and conditioner (I wanted my hair to feel really clean). When I got out of the shower, I put two quarter sized amounts of my Curl Enhancing Smoothie in my hair and combed it through. I then sectioned my hair into five parts, two in the front, two in back, and one at the crown, just like Sarah's video describes. I made sure to keep my hair really wet, adding my newest purchase, Organics Lock and Twist Gel to each section. I added about a quarter sized amount to each section, again, combing it through, then I started braiding. In Sarah's video, which I'll post at the end of this, she "french-braids" her two front pieces, explaining that she isn't very good at french braiding. Well, I'm worse, so I just did two simple braids at my temples, making sure they were very tight.

When I was finished braiding each section, I added perm rods to the bottom (another genius idea from Sarah's video) and rolled the bottom of my hair up into the braid. I love this idea because when I attempted my first braid out, my hair looked stringy and the bottoms were not curled whatsoever. After I finished my braid out, I just went to sleep. I didn't wrap it up or anything, it stayed perfectly unharmed throughout the night.

The next morning was such a pleasant surprise when I unbraided each of the sections! Sarah uses Aquage in her video to revitalize her curls, but I don't like Aquage much (it makes my hair feel very wire-like). Instead, I just took a little bit of my Carols Daughter Curl Definer and ran it through all of my hair (make sure not to comb it through, it'll ruin the pretty waves!) I was very pleased with the results, even though it makes my hair look considerably shorter.

 I did the braid out the day before this fun little photo shoot I did with my friend.

Here's the link to the woman who has taught me everything I know:

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Volume!

As I've said before, I love the pineapple!! It makes my hair so voluminous, but manageable at the same time. It has gotten to the point where I cannot wait to go to sleep and have second, third, and fourth day hair because that is when the curls truly seem to come alive! My first day hair is okay, but nothing compared to second day hair with the pineapple. It makes sense, though, because when I had straight hair, my second day was always better than my first.

I must say, I have wholeheartedly embraced my roots, so to speak. I love my curly hair and to be honest, I'm not sure I'll ever go back to having straight hair permanently. There is just this confidence that has be awakened in me since I decided to go natural. I have always believed it took a certain level of confidence to walk around with a head full of curls and know that you don't look like most others. I used to admire the girls I'd see at school or around town who were brave enough to embrace their natural beauty and rock a fro, wishing I could have enough assurance in myself to do the same. Going natural has different connotations for all who choose to do it, for me it has several meanings, one of them being that I needed to understand that I was beautiful no matter how my hair was flowing. I've reached that point, and I am so happy. It also means that I was ready to step away and stand apart from the straight hair movement. It's not to say I'll never straighten my hair again, just that I don't urgency to in order to feel beautiful.Follow @AlexiaaBrooks

C is Not Just For Curly, It's For Color

I'm going to be moving soon, so in an effort to get the ball rolling, I started searching through my closet today to see what I wanted to bring with me and what I was going to leave behind. I found a photo album that I used to collect photos from high school in, and couldn't help but notice how curly my hair was in most of the pictures. As I've mentioned before, my hair was very curly in high school, but it wasn't given the same amount of attention I give to it now. I would put heavy amounts of mousse in it and sometimes take a curling iron to it in order to spruce up some of the stragglers. But boy, was it gorgeous.

The first picture shows my hair as it was when I used a curling iron on my hair. There was some obvious frizz, but the length was exactly where I wanted it. In the second photo, the curls were all very tight and similar in shape. This picture was taken at the end of my junior year, before I learned how to flat iron my hair myself. Sometimes I wonder if my curls can ever get back to that point. I'm afraid I've done so much damage to them over the past six years with my flat iron. Not that I am not loving the curls my hair is producing right now, I just miss when they were all the same shape. I can't cry over what is done, however, I just have to diligently figure out a way to get it back to that place.

In other news, I tried the pineapple again last night, I have to say, I'm hooked. It amazes me how much volume my hair has, but more importantly, the curls stay preserved throughout the night. Today, I didn't go anywhere, so I just pulled my hair up in a high ponytail with a headband I got from Forever 21.

This is my good side, I've decided. The curls are always more defined on this side than my left side. But for day three hair, I'd say my curls look pretty good.

This side could use some work, I think with time it will start to cooperate. My boyfriend jokes that my hair is frightened that I will subject it to those evil clamps of heat again, so they are resisting the curl in an attempt not to get more attention with the flat iron later. To be quite honest, I don't miss my straight hair very much. I feel like these curls have breathed new life into me and my wardrobe, and they make me stand out more.  I also feel a certain level of confidence that I never knew I could get with them.

Since starting this journey, I have felt more of a compulsion to buy colorful clothing and accessories. My closet used to be full of black and various shades of white, but now there are vibrant yellows, corals, turquoises, paisleys, and purples. I just feel that my curls have enhanced my style as well as my desire to learn more about my black roots. As silly as it may sound, I have tried for a good portion of my life to stand apart from the black community, not because I was ashamed, but because I felt that I didn't wholly belong to it due to my mixed heritage. In high school I didn't enjoy the same types of music that a lot of people in the community identified with nor did I share the same personal struggles. But now, I'm starting to understand that just because I may have different facets to my makeup, being black is definitely an important shade of me and I don't have to worry about fitting in with the black community because I have always been apart of it even when I resisted it. Now I am learning to embrace it as a very integral piece to the my existence. I'm not going to lie and say I feel one hundred percent comfortable there just yet,  mainly because of my own insecurities of not being able to fit in, but I am learning to, which is a lot more than I used to be able to say.Follow @AlexiaaBrooks

The Pineapple

First, and most importantly, I'm back home from vacation! Back to humidity and extreme heat, but most importantly, little wind. It may not sound like paradise, but for my hair, it is definitely more of a heaven than New Mexico, Nevada, and the Mojave Desert.  The last night at my parents house, I washed and conditioned my hair with the Carols Daughter products. I then added a quarter size amount of the Organics Curl Enhancing Smoothie to my hair, combed it through, and did a braid out. I put it all inside a shower cap and went to sleep.

I was not happy with the results. When I woke up, my hair was still damp, but most importantly, it was flat and the ends were not curled from where I had to tie off the braid with a rubber band. My hair was a disaster, it looked and felt greasy and stringy. I pulled it back into a bun so I wouldn't have to look at it any longer.

Yesterday after the gym, I came home and conditioned my hair with my KMS Silk Sheen conditioner, combing it through, of course before washing it out. I then added a dime size amount of the Organics Curl Enhancing Smoothie to my hair, again combing it through root to tip. I sectioned my hair in four sections, adding my Curl Defining lotion from Carols Daughter to each section and scrunching it in my hair. For the first time in two weeks I had a fabulous hair day! My curls were defined and soft with minimal frizz. I'm convinced it has to do with my central California weather, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

So onto the pineapple...

I've been watching Sarah's YouTube videos and she did a tutorial on the pineapple, which is basically taking all the hair and putting it in a high ponytail at the top of the head. I resembled a unicorn, if only unicorns had flimsy horns. Before putting my hair on top of my head, I took some more of the Organics Curl Enhancing Smoothie (naturallycurly.com says curly hair can never have too much conditioner) and put it into a spray bottle, mixing it with about 1/2 cup of water and shaking it so the product and water mixed. I sprayed the conditioner on my hair and pulled my hair up into the pineapple. From Sarah's video, I thought my hair was going to kind of rest on top of my head, but I realized my hair is way longer than hers, so this is what mine turned out like:

While the hairstyle is funny looking, it worked better than pulling my hair back and smashing my curls while I slept. I wanted to try some way to preserve my curls overnight because I am sick of styling it everyday, especially when I know I don't have to do so. When I woke up this morning, my hair had a lot more volume, but the curls were still really defined. I sprayed some more of my water+Curl Enhancing Smoothie mix throughout to refresh them and was good to go.

My bangs were a little straight, so I have to figure out how I can make them defined for my second day hair, but all in all, I was very pleased with my first try of the pineapple. I think I'm going to try it again tonight to see if my hair can get another day out of this wash.

In other news, I know this is a blog about my hair and heritage, but I have to share this new face wash I bought last night at Target. I thought it was appropriate that I buy something for my face that is just as good as what I've been putting in my hair, so I picked up Neutrogena Naturals, which contains no parabens or sulfates! I am beyond excited, I hope it makes my skin softer than it has been.

I'll update about the facial wash after a few weeks of using it.

I think I'm going to try a braid out again next week, but this time I'm going to pick up some perm rods from Sally's for the ends of my hair so they can curl as well. I want to pick up this Organic Root Stimulator Lock and Twist Gel because I saw in a video that the girl did a braid out using this product with the Curl Enhancing Smoothie. The good thing is, the Organic Root Stimulator is only $2.99 at Walgreens!Follow @AlexiaaBrooks

Curly Hair & the Desert.

My hair went through various changes over my 10 day vacation. First stop was Vegas and it was 103 degrees, I was certain this weather was going to make my curls dry and frizzy, but I actually had a pretty great hair day. I just wet my curls in the shower and then applied the Curl Defining lotion to my wet hair, combing it through, and let it air dry. The curls were bouncy and soft. That night, after spending way too much time in smokey casinos, I went back to the room and washed my hair with the Carols Daughter Shampoo. Instead of conditioning it with Carols Daughter, I applied the Organics Curl Enhancing Smoothie to my hair as a leave in. I twisted the left front strands of my hair and pinned them back, then threw my hair into a shower cap and went to sleep. When I woke up, the curls were still damp and very moisturized. I proceeded to get my hair wet again and add the Curl Defining product to it.

Then we went to New Mexico, which is where the curls took a turn for the worst. New Mexico is going through an extreme drought right now, the worst its been since the 70s. They haven't had rain since February and they have also had a terrible 30-40mph daily wind. I tried applying my Curl Defining product to my hair on Saturday when we got there, but being outside for a family picnic left my hair looking dry and stringy. Overall, the curls were not well defined and I had major frizz. I think I only had two good hair days out of the five while I was there.  I tried to apply the Organics Curl Enhancing Smoothie to my hair each day just because I felt it needed more moisture, but it didn't really help.

I went swimming on Monday and didn't have a shower cap, so my hair was exposed to all of the chlorine in the pool. When I got back to my aunt's house, I washed my hair with sulfate shampoo to give it a deeper wash and to strip the chlorine from my hair. I then added the Carols Daughter conditioner, combing it through and letting it sit for 5 minutes. When I got out of the shower, I put a small amount of the leave in conditioner in my hair. The curls looked okay after that; they dried and were a little more springy, but still just felt dry, which is to be expected when using the sulfate shampoo.

The last night we were in New Mexico, my hair felt great. I just got it wet in the shower and combed through the Curl Defining product again, but it left my hair feeling smooth this time, maybe my hair perked up because it knew we were headed back to California. It still didn't look as good as it has in the past, but it was the best hair day I had while in New Mexico.

We flew back to Vegas on Thursday and I once again got my hair wet in the shower and added the Curl Definer. My hair looked a little better, but still not as good as I wanted it to look. Yesterday was an awful hair day. I tried getting my hair wet in the sink and towel drying it instead of adding product to wet hair. I took a quarter sized amount of the Organics Curl Enhancing Smoothie and ran it through my hair, combing it through after, of course.  I then sectioned my hair off in four sections because I am not liking the way that the hair underneath looks and thought sectioning off my hair would help, so I sectioned my hair and added the Curl Definer to each section, combing it through and scrunching it. I liked how it looked while it was wet, but when it dried, it was stringy and dry once again.

We left Vegas this morning, so I am finally back in California, but still in the high desert at my parents house. When we got home, I did the works to my hair, shampooing and conditioning it with the Carols Daughter, then adding the Curl Enhancing Smoothie to it after I rinsed out the other products. I am hoping that the desert weather is affecting my hair because if not, I wasted $9.99 on the Curl Enhancing Smoothie product. I've been searching YouTube for tutorials on how to apply this product to hair because the back of the container just says to add to damp or styled hair for curly results. Sometimes it is making my hair kind of curly, but other times, it isn't doing anything, which frustrates me. I am going to give it two weeks and the weather where I live to see if I can make it work, if not, I am going to buy the Carols Daughter Tui Leave In Conditioner from Sephora. I was going to pick it up yesterday, but I decided I wanted to give the Curl Enhancing Smoothie more time.

Today, my hair looks really straight and frizzy, I'm not happy with the frizz, but I will say I like how shiny it is!

I'm going to Target tomorrow to look into purchasing a diffuser, just because I want to try and see if it will even out my curls. I don't like the idea of using heat on my hair, but luckily, my blowdryer has a cool air option, so I hope that it works the same way using heat would.

I will say, however, through the bad hair days I've experienced over these past ten days, I am beginning to embrace my curly hair. I hardly miss my straight hair anymore, nor do I feel as though I'd be prettier if my hair was straight. I think my curls make me look unique, plus they are ideal for dealing with this heat because I don't have to worry about sweat making my hair curly. I still need to figure out how to get the shape and feel that I want from my hair, but I am enjoying the journey so far.Follow @AlexiaaBrooks

Life in the Desert

So I'm at my parents house now, which is in the Mojave Desert area. This means there is extreme heat and high, let me repeat, HIGH winds. It also means my hair is not happy. Luckily, I tried to limit my contact with the outside today, but even then my hair had some frizz. We leave tomorrow morning for Las Vegas, but I'm not sure that fire roasted city will be any kinder to my locks. I did try something new today with my hair. As I was getting out of the shower last night, after having shampooed and conditioned my hair with the Carols Daughter (still LOVE this stuff), I read on the box it came in that to get the maximum wear out of my curls, I should try applying the curl definer to my wet hair, combing it through, then drying it with a T-shirt instead of a towel to avoid frizz, then style it after wards. I did exactly that, which worked pretty well, at least the right side of my hair. The left side is being a little more resistant to the curls, which makes sense because when my hair is straight, the left side gets more straight than the right. The left side has more straight pieces of hair mixed in with curly.

I'm going to continue to work on it, though, because the other side of my hair has made great progress in such a small amount of time. The curls are still really different, though, I would like them to all look the way the right side of my hair looks on top.

I love, love, love the curls on this side, I really do. If I could make my whole head like this, I would be so happy. I am very excited to show my front bangs, they finally curled!

Above everything else, my hair feels soft and healthy, which I am thankful for. So, as I said, I like the way these curls look, I would like the curls underneath to look this way, too. My mom was saying today that when I was little my curls all looked the same, kinky and bouncy, which is the way the hair underneath these curls looks. I know I've just done so much damage to them by straightening them day after day without any breaks.

There are a lot of different curls existing on my head at the moment, but again, I am happy they are all shiny and healthy looking. The back looks a little frizzy, but the wind was blowing at its maximum speed when my mom snapped the photo today.

Even so, I can see the improvements and the life my curls are starting to have.I feel great with my hair, sometimes I miss my straight hair, but I remind myself that I am doing this to discover the other parts of my heritage.

I finally bought a leave in conditioner!!! First, I went to Wal Mart because I read online that they had the Shea Moisture Organics Curl Enhancing Smoothie, but they did not, so I found Cantu's Leave in Conditioner which contained Shea Butter. It was also $6 whereas the Organics is $9.99. I read some of the ingredients, which are:

Water
Soybean
Shea Butter
Soy protein
Wheat Protein

There were a bunch of other ingredients I couldn't pronounce, but I bought it anyway. Mistake! From what I've learned about eating healthy, if you cannot pronounce it, don't ingest it, so I'm not sure why I threw out that rule for my hair. I took the Cantu home and started comparing it to the Organics Leave in, which contains:

Coconut Oil
Silk Protein
Mango Seed Butter
Avocado Oil
Neem Seed Oil
Vitamin E
Aloe Leaf Extract


I decided to take back the Cantu to Wal Mart and pay the extra $3.99 for all of these ingredients, plus I've just heard such wonderful things about the product from different reviews. I am thinking I'll put it in my hair tomorrow night and put a shower cap on to lock in the moisture for my plan ride to New Mexico on Friday. I haven't completely decided yet, but I hope it gives my hair whatever it is it's looking for.Follow @AlexiaaBrooks

Note to Self

So I had to find out the hard way that I should only use sulfate shampoo maybe once every two weeks, if that. It completely stripped my hair of the moisture my hair had built up, making it dry and frizzy. I should have known better, sulfate shampoo is what I use in my washes before straightening my hair to allow the moisture to build up over a four day period, instead of it looking oily the first day after I flat iron it. After shampooing and conditioning my hair with the KMS products on Wednesday night, I woke up Thursday and found my hair had a lot of static. I got it wet and let it air dry while doing my make-up, like every morning, but I had to stop and apply some of the Moroccan oil I got for graduation to my hair- a very tiny amount, about a quarter of a pump, just to get the moisture back in. This also proved to be a mistake, as for some reason, my hair dried a lot faster that morning and I had to re-wet it. I applied the Curl Definer in it, but for some reason, my hair just didn't take to it the way it had the first few days. I'm not sure if this is because of the sulfate wash, or because my hair has gotten used to the product and I have to switch things up. I did a Carols Daughter wash yesterday and restored some moisture to my curls, they looked a lot better, but still, I wasn't impressed with the way it looked when it dried.

The back is starting to come together, but there are so many different types of curls at work on my head. I'm not sure if I'll come to find that part of embracing these curls is accepting that they have a mind of their own. I'm not ready to accept it yet, however. 

 The top isn't super curly, I'd like the curls to be a bit more even, but not too curly to where they are coming off my head at crazy volumes.

I'm happy with the side of it, just not with how it looks underneath, mainly because the curls are so different.

So, I am not sure what is happening to my hair at the moment, I think I need to play around with it a bit more. I am excited to say I think I found a leave in conditioner for my hair, I just have to order it online. It's Carols Daughter, of course.

I'm not completely sure, just yet. I have to read some more reviews on it to see if it's worth $12. The girl I watch on YouTube really liked it and she and I have similar hair types. I am learning it is so difficult to read reviews from full black women because their hair texture is different than someone who is biracial, so their experience with the product is completely different, too. I was also considering the Black Vanilla Leave in from Carols Daughter, which I have read good things about.

Or finally, the Curl Enhancing Smoothie, which I have heard excellent things about. This product is also great because they sell it at Target, Wal Mart, and Walgreens for $9.99.

I'll have to go explore. I leave for Las Vegas on Tuesday, so I'm sure that oven temperature is going to effect my hair, then it's off to New Mexico for a week. I'll post updates of the shapes my hair has taken in these new climates very soon, as well as hopefully find the leave in conditioner of my dreams.Follow @AlexiaaBrooks