My Year in Review

    I wanted to make sure I wrote a post before the new year to discuss how much my life has changed over the course of twelve months. I won't go into anything personal, I just want to talk about the changes I decided to make this year that have benefited my life greatly. First, I decided to start working out. As someone who has always been naturally slender, I never thought I needed to worry about physical fitness or what I put into my body. I always fit into the clothes I wanted to wear, so I didn't choose to look to far beyond that. Then, I started to gain weight as a result of getting older and lazier. I felt badly about myself and the way I looked and knew I needed to make a change. I had attempted to work out in the past, but I always lost interest in it and went back to eating fast food and drinking 3+ sodas a day, so this time I knew I would need to get a personal trainer. I joined the gym on January 11, 2011 weighing 136 pounds with 26 percent body fat. After 11 months of sweat and sore muscles, I reached my goal: I dropped 10 pounds and 6 percent body fat. I cannot describe the wonderful changes I have noticed, not only to my appearance, but my confidence and energy level. As a student, I cannot believe I didn't exercise before because it really helps keep the mind active and present. I learned so many useful tools this year about food and exercise and the ways we must constantly change up our routines to keep the body guessing. I feel these lessons prepared me for my hair journey.

    As I have stated before, I decided to let my hair go free in May of 2011. After my hairstylist told me I really needed to start getting more hair cuts and allowing my hair to stay curly more often so it could grow, I asked myself, why not let it go curly for the summer? I needed to figure out why I didn't feel as confident with curly hair as I did with straight hair. Interestingly enough, after a month of my hair being curly, I started to gain more confidence. Now, when it's straight, I don't feel as good as I used to. Mainly because the maintenance on straight hair is more than I would like to put out because I know I'm killing my hair and the curly progress with each press of my flat iron. My exercise and eating habits helped me understand that my hair needs to try new products so it can keep the curls looking their best. I really saw this put to action when I tried using my Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie and Bed Head's Cat Walk Curls Rock this month. When I first bought both products, I wasn't entirely happy with them. The Shea Moisture left my hair feeling really heavy and oily while the Cat Walk Curls Rock gave my hair a dried out, wiry feel. This month, I decided to take my Shea Moisture out of the cabinet and give it a go. I washed my hair with my KMS sulfate shampoo as well as conditioned with the KMS. Once I got out of the shower, I put the Shea Moisture on my hair and combed it through. I then applied my Carol's Daughter Curl Definer to my hair, using my fingers to get it through my hair. The results were fabulous. I think it has something to do with the weather-the cold dries my hair out, as well as the fact that I haven't used the Shea Moisture since summer. My hair welcomed it back.

   The front pieces needed to be fixed, but this is day two hair!! I'm pretty pleased with how well it held up overnight. The Shea Moisture has been kind to me.

   Last week, I was at my parents house for the holidays. I found the Cat Walk Curls Rock that I let my mom use, since it wasn't working for my hair, I decided not to let the $14 bottle go to waste. I was curious to see how well it would hold up in my hair, now that I was using the Shea Moisture and the Curl Definer. I was very surprised with the results. I do the exact same routine when using the Cat Walk Curls Rock that I did with the Shea Moisture. The first time I put it on, I placed a dime size amount in my hand and worked it through one side of my hair and reapplied more the the other side. I found that it was too much, so I now just style my hair with the Shea Moisture and Curl Definer, then add a dime size amount to my hand and rub it through my hair, re-scrunching it. I find this works a lot better. I'm not as crazy about the Shea Moisture-Curl Definer-Cat Walk Curls Rock combo as I am just using the Shea Moisture and Curl Definer, but using the Cat Walk Curls Rock is not a bad option to have. I'm still learning and I'm sure 2012 will bring even more revelations about myself and my hair.

   I just received a large amount of hair products for Christmas, so I will be doing a post about those when I get back home. I'm excited to try them out! I'm very thankful for this year and the confidence it has brought about. I can't wait to see how 2012 shapes up. Here is a before and current picture of my hair and it's progress:

June 2011:

Now (I took this on my phone, so the quality may not be that great) :

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Do You Wanna Touch?

Well, please refrain from doing so. Unless invited, reaching out and touching a black woman's hair because it is "so fascinating and exotic" is highly offensive and grounds for getting your fingers bitten off. In high school, I used to allow my white friends to touch my hair, always feeling a bit uncomfortable when they asked me because they were not asking one another if they could exchange strokes. I allowed it, however, because of my want to please others. I can remember a specific time when I allowed one of my old friends to comb out all of my curls and make my hair "fro" because she thought it was "so cool to look at and feel." I remember feeling upset because it was going to take hours for my hair to get back to normal now that it had been combed out. Please, do not get me wrong, I allow plenty of people to touch my hair. The key word of that sentence is allow. I have a fairly short list of people I "allow" to touch my hair: my mom, my hair stylist, and my fellow natural hair mate, Ayla. There is the occasional person I throw in there if I want something done that I know I cannot do myself, but I try to keep it to a minimum because of the comments, such as, "Wow, it doesn't feel like black girls hair. It is so...white feeling."

I decided to do a bit of research to find out why I feel this way as well as to find other fellow black women who hate having their hair touched. According to an article in CNN.com entitled 'Can I touch it?' blogger Renee Martin remarks, "I think it's the idea that they have the right to possess black women and they will take any excuse they can to jump over the border, whether it's policing our behavior or policing our hair," Martin said. "I think it's about ownership of black bodies more than it has to actually do with hair" (Lisa Respers France). While I have never gone into as much depth as Martin on this matter, I completely understand and agree that it is like this for some black women. There are blatantly ignorant people in the world who think that black hair can be played with because it is attached to a larger pawn, but I know there are other people who honestly just cannot keep their hands to themselves, sans ulterior motives. I personally do not like my hair touched because it takes me a while to get the curls in the shape I want, and then someone comes up and starts pulling the curls apart, causing them to frizz. I recognize that curls are pretty and unlike something people see residing on everyone's head, but it doesn't give you the right to touch them. We are not chia pets, or any pets for that matter. But touch our hair enough and we will resort to biting.

Issa Rae, star and creator of "The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl" adds to the conversation on CNN.com, explaining she does not mind when people touch her hair as much as she does when they ask questions that make her feel as though her hair is ugly. I am happy I have not received these types of questions, most people have been supportive of my choice to go natural. A young woman on CNN.com named Tia Mosley describes her story, saying she went natural at age 12 and has never looked back. Mosley explains that she does not mind people touching her hair, it is just when they touch it without asking that bothers her. I think I am closest to Mosley's outlook. If people ask to touch my hair, I do not mind as much. I still reserve the right to say no, and I have, but I just feel it is polite. I am not going to go up to someone I do not know and start stroking their hair because it looks interesting to me. They have petting zoos for that. Be genuine about your curiosity too, do not ask to touch my hair because you think it looks weird and you want to confirm your suspicions. Believe me, this has been a long time in the making so I can spot the ones with judgment in their voice.


These comments are not meant to be rude, more of an education. The knowledge is this: if you touch someone's hair without asking, it can be offensive. If after reading this, you still feel the urge to touch a black woman's hair...well, don't say you weren't warned when you get her right hook.Follow @AlexiaaBrooks